Are you familiar with the African proverb, "It takes a village to raise a child"? In the past couple of months that I've been quiet (heh), I've been reflecting on just how true this proverb is, at least in my life. Peter and I are so grateful to all of the friends and family who have helped us with Emalyn in some capacity or other, and I wanted to write about it. I just wanted to share a few snippets of what I call "village life," and instead of writing about the obvious members of our village that I'm grateful for, I've chosen to highlight three sets of people that are a little less conventional for me to be writing about.
Snippet 1:
We have two dear friends of ours, N and T, who were two of the first friends we made as a couple after I moved to Connecticut. They're two really great guys that we game with fairly often, and I love them to pieces...but they never struck me as kid people. So I was a little nervous about what our group dynamic would look like after Emalyn was born. When she was very little, they would interact with her from time to time, but they didn't do much, which was fine. I wasn't expecting them to offer to babysit or anything like that. They still made a point of spending time with us too, even though we were now a family of three. It seemed like our group was still intact.
Once Emalyn had mastered holding her head up on her own, N was the first to start interacting with her more. That surprised me for a couple of reasons. One, between the two of them, I assumed T would be the more kid-friendly one. Two, when N started interacting with her more, Emalyn developed a real fondness for him. I have a picture where he's standing and holding her, and she's resting her head against his chest. It's too cute for words! Now, the two of them enjoy coloring and laughing together. I think Emalyn really appreciates the attention he readily gives her. N has also made a point of not only baby proofing his bachelor pad as much as he can but also stocking up on Cheerios and apple juice and keeping things around for Emalyn to play with whenever we visit. I'm truly thankful for him and his willingness to make her feel at home.
Despite what I had originally assumed, it actually took T a little longer to warm up to Emalyn and vice versa. They would greet each other, but it didn't really go beyond that for a while. There eventually came a day when Emalyn decided it was okay for him to hold her, and she has loved being held by him ever since, to the point where whenever she sees him, she immediately reaches out to be held by him. He holds her fairly often and for decent stretches of time when we see him now. It's SO sweet. He also humors her whenever she wants to do the same activity over and over again and does so without complaining (unlike me at times). I really appreciate their budding friendship.
I could never have guessed how much of a joy it would be to watch our friends come to love Emalyn like we do, but I'm truly grateful for it.
Snippet 2:
Emalyn went through a phase where she was extremely wary of men who weren't Peter. This, unfortunately, included my father-in-law G, who Emalyn calls Papa. She would cry anytime he tried to hold her or cling to me when he tried reaching out to her. I felt so bad about it. However, Papa was extremely patient and never pushed her. Instead, he'd interact with her by playing with her. I truly appreciate the fact that whenever we're at his house, he either takes out the toy barn or the Fisher Price dollhouse and gets down on the living room floor to play with her. She loves it! He sometimes sings to her too, which is both very sweet and very fitting because music is Emalyn's love language. She eventually grew out of that steer-clear-of-men-who-aren't-Dada phase and started letting him hold her more often and for longer periods of time. Now, she'll initiate being held, and she'll say his name very excitedly, even randomly asking for him when we're home even though he's not around. One of my grandfathers died before I was born and I never had a close relationship with my other one, so I'm especially grateful that Emalyn has such a sweet relationship with her Papa.
Snippet 3:
There's a five-year-old girl at our church named S who treats Emalyn like a younger sister. She is SO good to Emalyn, and Emalyn absolutely adores her. Unlike other kids who essentially treat Emalyn like a living doll (which she doesn't like), S treats her really well. She gives her hugs without forcing them. She shares her artwork with her. She takes her on walks. She entertains her. She keeps her safe by keeping her away from steps when Peter and I aren't in the immediate vicinity. She lets us know if something seems off. I know that when Emalyn is with S, I don't have to worry about her, and that's a big deal considering we're talking about a five-year-old here! S is just very responsible and loves on Emalyn like an older sister. I can only hope that Emalyn will treat any future siblings of hers in the same way. : ) (No, I'm not pregnant. All in good time.)
These are just four of the amazing people I'm proud to say are involved in our village life. Peter and I are grateful to them, and we are grateful to the many more that have come alongside our family of three as well, of course! You know who you are. ; )
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