As someone who runs her own small business, I'm all about supporting other small businesses, so when I learned that I could support a friend of a friend's business by buying vinyl stickers from her, I was all over it. I mean, she sells STICKERS! I used to collect stickers as a kid, and I'm very susceptible to signage, so the hard part was making sure I didn't buy every sticker I liked at first sight, or Peter would've killed me (not really, but I would've spent a LOT of money). I thought I'd share a bit about how I'm doing by telling you what was written on the stickers I bought and why they stood out to me.
1. "You're a good mama"
I don't always feel like a good mama. In fact, I rarely feel like a good mama. I am constantly beating myself up, knowing there are so many things I could be doing better, and it's tough because the comparison game isn't fun. I see what other moms are doing with or for their kids, and I wonder, "Am I working hard enough?" Which then translates to "Am I good enough?" There are some days when Emalyn and I don't get outside except to fetch the mail. Does that make me a bad mom? There are other days when I only give Emalyn baby food outside of her milk because I don't have the energy to make her meals that day. Does that make me a bad mom? I don't know. What I do know is that I'm trying. I'm trying really hard to be a good mom to her. I bought this sticker to remind myself that even when I feel like the world's worst mom, I can't define my ability as a mom based on a single mistake (or several, for that matter). If I did, I'm pretty sure I'd be out of a job by now. What I can focus on is the fact that she's thriving, which means I must've done something right at some point!
2. "In a world where you can be anything, be kind"
Americans are more divided today than I would have ever thought imaginable. We spend our time pointing fingers and focusing on the things that divide us instead of the things that could unite us. I bought this sticker to remind myself that one simple contribution I can make to helping the world be a better place is being kind. Period. Not just being kind to people who are kind to me. Not just being kind to people who share the same points of view as me. Being kind to everyone. Something I've also discovered is that it feels GREAT when I choose to be kind to someone else! Because being kind to someone else means placing someone else ahead of my discomfort, my impatience, perhaps even my insecurities. And while it doesn't always come naturally to me, it does feel good.
3. "Choose joy"
I've fallen into a bit of a depression again, and I realized this is partly because I let too many things steal my joy on a regular basis. I allow stress to prevent me from seeing the positive things in life. I think about how my social media posts for my business haven't been doing well lately instead of being grateful for all of the students I have (and most of them I've had for a while!). I often focus on what Peter is doing wrong (this mostly refers to doing things differently from the way I do them) instead of what he's doing right or what he's been doing behind the scenes lately. I throw myself a pity party and consider all the ways I fall short as Emalyn's mom instead of simply learning from my mistakes. I bought this sticker to remind myself that I don't have to be stressed or worried or negative all the time. I can be joyful instead because joy IS a choice.
4. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart"
I like being in control. Because when I'm in control, I meet my expectations (even surpass them at times). Trusting God is something I've been struggling with lately because it requires relinquishing complete control to Him, and I have a really hard time doing that. In my head, I know having things in His control is better than they could possibly be in my own, but in my heart, I want to play it safe and put myself in the driver's seat, because I rarely disappoint myself. I bought this sticker to remind me that this is a goal of mine - to trust God to the point where I trust Him just as much as I trust myself, if not more.
5. "Keep going"
Some days are really hard. Today is actually a perfect example of that. I was dehydrated and sleep-deprived, which certainly didn't help things. Emalyn is entering a phase where she knows the word "no," which, well, you can imagine...and she's starting to throw temper tantrums and openly defy us to test her boundaries. It's a very challenging time, and I was reminded of that this afternoon (thankfully in the comfort of our own home). Sometimes I excuse myself and just take a quick breather to help me calm down. Today, I wanted to go for a drive and not come back for a few hours (I didn't do this - Peter, being the amazing husband and father that he is, gave me a 2-hour breather so that I didn't have to drive off). I bought this sticker to remind myself that I'm capable of whatever it is I set out to do, including being a good mom. I just have to believe it and not give up.
6. "Wild lives in her soul"
Ever since college, I started defining myself as an adventurous person. Perhaps not in the same way others mean it, but I often find I'm willing to step outside of my comfort zone to try new things that I could see myself really loving. Traveling was one of those things. I've lived abroad three times, and the itch to travel is always there. It's hard to feel adventurous when you have people who are dependent on you, though, when going off and being adventurous could negatively impact them. I bought this sticker to remind myself that even though I'm taking a little bit of a hiatus from venturing as far outside of my comfort zone as I have in the past, my adventurous spirit will never leave.
7. "You are loved, worthy, chosen, enough"
Even when I don't love myself. Even when my mistakes make too large of a pile. Even when I don't treat others the same way. I bought this sticker to remind myself that God sees me just the way I am and yet still loves me. I want to spend my life imitating Christ as best as I can. I know I will utterly fail at it, but knowing I am loved, worthy, chosen, and enough makes me want to work all the harder to get there.
Comments