soaking

I've been quiet the past two months, but that's simply because I've been doing as my post title suggests - I've been soaking it all in.

First of all, I'm doing a lot better both mentally and emotionally since my last post. I decided to start seeing a therapist to help me sort out some of the things going on in my head, and that was honestly the best thing I could have done for myself. I'm learning that there is nothing wrong with asking others for help, and I'm learning to stop myself from being the sole burden-bearer in certain situations because it's really having a negative effect on my mental health. I actually really appreciated what Simone Biles did in order to put herself first, regardless of other people's expectations. I'm learning how to put myself first as well, especially now that I'm a mom. There's a balance to be had. Emalyn's needs are important, for sure, but that shouldn't minimize the fact that I have needs as well, and those needs shouldn't be neglected.

I'm learning to embrace my new self too, starting with my body. I have wider hips that can no longer fit into my cute black shorts, but I'm embracing them and the curvature that comes with them that I've never had before (I've got that hourglass shape going for me now!). I can't comfortably wear rompers at the moment because of the little bit of belly I still have from pregnancy, but I'm reminding myself of what a miraculous thing my body has done, and if the belly is going to be there for the time being as a physical reminder of that, there's no shame in it (in fact, it helps me prop Emalyn up when I'm sitting and she's trying to stand but sticks her little tush back too far lol). I went up a cup size, which means some of my favorite shirts are a bit tight and short on me now, but I'm embracing it because I'm FINALLY no longer a member of the itty bitty titty committee. ; ) #leveledup

I'm embracing the changes I've had to make to my business as well, and those have actually been great! Since I was trying not to work quite as much this summer, I've gotten to experiment with more group-related activities (besides the book club I run a few times a year), and that has been a lot of fun. I now run a group conversation class and a movie club for ESL learners, and I think I'll keep both around for a while, based on the turnout! The classes have challenged me to reassess the way I teach and the methods in which I go about teaching too, which has made me feel even more confident in my teaching abilities, as a result.

And, of course, I've been embracing my new role as a mama. Every day is a little bit different, but I'm soaking up every single moment because I know I'll regret it otherwise. Emalyn is now four and a half months old, and she's just thriving. So far, she has said the words "hi" and "yay" and the sentence "I love you" on multiple occasions. She loves babbling and squealing in general, and she TOTALLY has my smile. She's sleeping SUPER well (we moved her to her nursery and into her crib almost two weeks ago now, and she's been sleeping 8-10 hours straight!). She's very curious about food lately, to the point that one time, I was eating a cookie while holding her in my lap, and she actually turned her head to follow the path of the cookie from the plate to my mouth lol. We'll be experimenting with some solids with her very soon! So exciting!!

We've been attending a Mommy & Me group run by a good friend of mine for two months now, and I finally understand the hype for these types of groups. I don't personally feel "cooped up" in the house all day because the nature of my business means I'm interacting virtually with people several times a day. I do have children and adolescents as students, yes, but all of my ESL students are adults, so I'm still able to socialize. However, I love meeting other young and/or new moms, and I love introducing Emalyn to other babies and toddlers because right now, her world largely consists of two adults and a cat. It's nice recalling children's songs I grew up singing and also being in "the know" again with songs that are popular today. Peter and I did agree though that we'd introduce Emalyn to unconventional children's songs too so that we don't drive ourselves crazy with the high-pitched group songs you can't avoid hearing on albums geared towards children. I refuse to play "Row Row Row Your Boat" on repeat in the car. Nope, not doing it. We'll listen to children's songs by They Might Be Giants and other songs along those lines instead. And Disney songs, of course (but those aren't children's songs to begin with!). And now that she's much more interactive than she was a few months ago (back when she was still a potato, a term we affectionately coined for her at the time), we had her first playdate last Friday (which was really more for me than for her, if I'm honest, but I think she still had fun!)! I'm looking forward to more of those in the future. =D

I love watching Peter excel in his new role too. Guys, I can't begin to express how cute it is watching Emalyn watch her daddy. She stares at him with such wonder and curiosity and love as though he were the most important and fascinating person in the world. Yes, I get jealous lol, but I really love that she does that. She doesn't see him as often as she sees me, but her interest in him affirms that she knows exactly who he is and how much he cares for her. Watching the two of them interact makes my heart melt every time.

Well, there you have it! That about sums up the past two months. We've been going out almost every weekend too and introducing Emalyn to new people and new experiences. We're really blessed that she was born this year and not last year, so we can actually take her out and about. Here's to enjoying what's left of this summer with more sailing, ice cream eating, barbecuing, gaming, adventuring, and soaking!