top of page
Writer's pictureRachel Berntsen

sister appreciation post


If it were up to me, I think I'd honestly be content if Peter, Emalyn, and I remained a family of three. I've absolutely loved just having Emalyn. The quality time I have with her is precious, and it's so nice being able to do things spontaneously with just her schedule to work around. She's also become a bit more of a handful now that she's entered the "terrific" twos, and I've been told (or warned, depending on how you look at it lol) just how much more hectic life gets when you add another child to the mix, which is why I've been taking the time to mentally prepare myself before trying to have another.


But...as many good points as Peter has given for wanting to grow our family, I think the most compelling reason for me personally is that I wouldn't want to deny Emalyn the absolute joy it is to have a sibling. I only have one, but that single relationship has been enough evidence to prove to me that we ought to try for a second. My sister's birthday was earlier this week, so it only seemed fitting that I dedicate a post to her this week as well. Plus, I'm pretty sure she doesn't check Facebook and see my blog posts there, so since there's no chance of her reading this, I think I can pour out my truth about her here. ; )


As you're probably already aware from when I've mentioned her in the past, S is three years younger than me. But besides being in different grades in school, the age gap between us never seemed to matter. Growing up, we were very close. We did everything together, from climbing the lonely tree in the backyard of our first home and serving our parents dessert out of our "restaurant" (complete with ice cream soup) to riding bikes up and down the dead end street of our second home (where she and my parents currently live) and playing videos games (like Driver and Battlefront 2). We were quite the imaginative duo too. We pretended our bunkbeds formed a pirate ship, made up skits that portrayed what happened right after certain Disney movies ended, and played with our grandma's perfume bottles as though they were people. We kept each other company at parties where we didn't really know the other kids. Whenever I wanted to try something new, S was always willing to be my guinea pig (cutting her hair is a prime example of this). She also made it socially acceptable to watch shows that my peers would've called too "childish" for me (I'm talking Blue's Clues and Dragon Tales) because I could watch them with her. We were different, but we complemented each other well, I think. I was more by-the-book and cautious while she tested boundaries and was more adventurous. I was the musical one, and she was the athlete (at least until high school, when I discovered a love for running). I stood up to people for her, and she was the extrovert for me. I have a LOT of fond memories of our childhood together. In high school, I remember being especially grateful for our relationship because I had met so several peers in similar situations (girls who had sisters who were also 2-3 years apart) who weren't close to their siblings at all. I had hit the jackpot, as far as I could tell, and I was thankful for that.


But then life kinda happened. I went to Williams, I lived abroad, and I started dating Peter. Naturally, we grew apart. I remember wanting to do everything in my power to get back to where we'd once been, but we just weren't there anymore. There were glimmers of that previous closeness over the years, like when she'd sleepover or we'd get together and do something just the two of us, but it just wasn't ever quite the same. I missed her a lot.


When Peter and I got married, I asked S to be my maid of honor, not because I had the closest relationship to her of all the women I knew, but because she was my sister. That meant something to me, and I wanted to honor the role she had in my life, even if we weren't besties at the time. She was the best maid of honor I could've asked for, defending me when unexpected drama arose (just my luck), assisting with the nitty gritty details of the wedding, and making sure my bridal shower and bachelorette party were big hits. I was so happy to have her by my side on such a momentous occasion. After the wedding, though, we re-entered that phase of our lives where our relationship was still a bit strained, and it unfortunately lasted a while.


Until Emalyn, that is.


People obviously get excited about babies (for good reason), and I knew S would want to get to know Emalyn and step into that auntie role, but in some ways, I wondered if we'd grow even more distant. My hands were about to be tied even tighter, after all. And, to be honest, I wondered too if she would think her auntie role had already been fulfilled when her best friend had a baby 2 years earlier.


I couldn't have been more wrong.


First of all, S is the most amazing aunt to Emalyn, and Emalyn adores her. She always asks about S when we're FaceTiming my mom and gets THE most excited when we FaceTime her. I remember leaving Emalyn with S and my parents overnight for the first time, and before Peter and I came to pick her up, my mom told me that S had asked if Emalyn could sleepover again. So cute. : ) She's been very hands-on where Emalyn is concerned, from making up games with her and keeping her entertained while I'm preoccupied to changing her diapers and helping with bath time.


Second, we're now closer than we've ever been in our adulthood. I was truly shocked by this! But what a wonderful surprise it was that naturally came about after Emalyn's birth. S started staying with us for a weekend every month or so, and sometimes it would time out that she'd come up on a Friday, and I'd get 1-1 time with her while Emalyn was still in daycare, and we both loved having that quality time together (as much as we both love Emalyn, obviously). Back in January, she came for my birthday weekend, and I had asked for an "experience" instead of a gift, so we went to our first Paint & Sip (sans the "sip" because who knew not all of these events come with a free glass of wine??) together and that was super fun. Over the past couple of years, we've gotten to go on a lot of fun outings together, with and without Emalyn, and I wouldn't trade that time with her for the world.


S is honestly the one I look forward to seeing the most (especially now that she's dating someone and is now busy herself lol). She's the one I want to share news with - doesn't matter if it's good or bad, or if it's related to my life or to Love Is Blind (iykyk). In my experience, there's just no bond that's quite like the bond between siblings. And that's why she is the main reason why I'm looking forward to Emalyn becoming a big sister someday.



Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page