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Writer's pictureRachel Berntsen

remaining steadfast


I've been wanting to write the following post for a while, but it wasn't my story to tell and it didn't have an actual ending until Monday. I don't mean to imply that I can't write about things that don't have a nice, clean ending to them, but with this particular situation, it helped. You'll see what I mean.


Let's face it. Waiting SUCKS. Waiting in line is annoying, and one of my pet peeves is when people decide that it's okay to cut the line, no matter how long you or other people have been waiting, because that just prolongs the waiting process is already annoying in itself. Waiting for a package to arrive can be annoying, like the package I've been waiting on for the past three weeks. Even waiting for a text response can be frustrating, especially when your iPhone-using friends switch off the ability for you to see that your text was read. Waiting for God to respond can also be a nuisance because He makes it clear that things will happen in His timing and in His timing alone. Okay, God, but what exactly am I supposed to do in the meantime?


That's how I felt for a month and a half. Peter was recently laid off from his job. His last day was October 1. His team was really sad to lose him, but a dash of awkward corporate craziness made it impossible for him to continue the great job that he had been doing. When Peter first received the news, he was actually optimistic. He had been considering a change, but he didn't quite have the drive to pursue one - he had simply grown comfortable where he was. This was the push he needed. We just didn't realize there would be a bit of waiting involved. I'll get to that later.


The past month and a half have been strange, to say the least. It really took some time to adjust to the fact that when I wake up and leave to tutor my first student, whether that student is a drive away or waiting for me online in my home office, Peter is still asleep (I should note that my first student is now at 6:30am because she's in China and because of daylight savings, so it's not that I expect him to wake up or anything lol). When I come home after tutoring a student, he's there. When I eat lunch, he's there (I had to start keeping more food in the house because he used to pick up lunch at his office). When I do laundry, he's there. I think you get the gist. I've actually had to get used to being around my husband all of the time. It was a little bit of a bumpy ride at first - I had gotten so accustomed to my routine that having him around threw me off at times. We had to learn what Peter's change in employment status meant for us in our daily lives. I was used to picking up the slack around the house because Peter wasn't around during the day, but now that I've been the one working, he has had to take on the household chores. So while I've spent my days tutoring/prepping for tutoring, he has spent several hours a day applying to jobs and also taking care of things around the house (one of which involved finally staining our deck, which I helped with when I could, but he's definitely the one who did the brunt of it).


When we eventually found our rhythm, I realized just how wonderful it was to have him around. I've gotten to eat lunch with him every day, and our Memorable Mondays have been really easy to implement because it's just my schedule that we have to work around (Memorable Monday is the day of the week when we have a date that involves something a little different from anything we've done before. Some of our Memorable Mondays have been more memorable than others, but the idea was that we didn't want every single Monday to involve something spectacular, or we'd never be able to keep up with it. We switch off who plans it as well to make it even. It's been really good so far! Maybe I'll blog about it in a few months, since we just started this recently.). We've also been able to snuggle up together on the couch in the middle of the day and catch up on some TV - we've recently gotten into This is Us, which is SOOOO good - or play board games or have a writing workshop at our new favorite coffee shop in the downtown area of our town. It has also been helpful having him around to go grocery shopping with me because he prides himself in being able to carry in all of the grocery bags. ; )


Of course, his lack of a job loomed over us throughout this time. Weirdly enough, at the very beginning, we were completely at peace about his lack of a job. We just knew things were going to work out. And I realized after talking to one of my best friends about the situation that the timing of this could've been worse - for example, if Peter had lost his job right before the wedding, that would've been a disaster. We remained positive and hopeful that he would find something soon. He had a series of interviews with a job in New Haven in September (Peter had been warned that his time with his previous company would be coming to an end in August), and by the beginning of October, while we were in Florida with my family, it really sounded like it was coming together and we were expectantly waiting for an offer. That's why we initially didn't think we'd have to wait long for him to find something. In the middle of our vacation, though, we found out that they had decided to hire someone else. It was very disappointing. I knew Peter was bummed, so I tried to cheer him up and encouraged him to remain hopeful, even though I, too, was saddened by the news.


In the middle of October, he had a series of interviews and a test/presentation with Company A in Stamford. It all went well, and they suggested that he had an unofficial offer. We were so pumped! Then they forced us into playing a waiting game. We waited and waited for that official offer. It didn't come until last Tuesday, about two weeks after the unofficial offer was made, and it was pretty pitiful, as though they had decided to low-ball him just because he had no other prospects. Peter voiced his concerns, but it didn't sound like they were going to budge much. Interestingly enough, something else happened that Tuesday. A recruiter from Company B in Stamford reached out to Peter through LinkedIn, asking him to apply to a job at his company. Peter did and received an invitation to an interview last Thursday. For those of you in the northeast, you'll recall that it snowed on Thursday. Peter decided to risk it and left for Stamford for a 2:30pm interview. He thought it went really well, and then ended up spending 2.5 hours driving through traffic and snow to Norwalk (it's normally a 15-20 minute drive from Stamford to Norwalk), where his second oldest brother and sister-in-law live and who graciously put him up for the night (that was my first night apart from Peter, and while it was a bit unsettling, I also slept really well lol). Last Friday, someone from Company A called Peter and gave him a final offer (a very small increase from their original one), and asked him to respond to them by Monday. Peter then called the recruiter from Company B and mentioned his dilemma, telling him that he would really prefer working for Company B, but also couldn't pass up a tangible offer for the mere possibility of another one. Within hours, the recruiter called him back, saying an offer had been approved for him with Company B and would be emailed to him on Monday. It came, just like the recruiter said it would, and while it was a much better offer than Company A's, it was also a position that was more aligned with Peter's career aspirations. Peter accepted, and he starts work on December 10th (as long as they don't discover drugs in his system or any criminal activity from his past that he's tried to cover up...haha).


It has been a whirlwind of a month and a half, but ultimately, we've been blessed abundantly. I'm extremely thankful for my job and for the work I've been receiving from students, but I'm also extremely thankful that Peter is employed again and for the way in which the job came about. We didn't know how long we would have to wait, but I'm glad we did. We've grown so much through this process, and our marriage is currently at its strongest, I'd say, as a result. Here is where I will pause for a quick shout-out: to those of you who walked side-by-side with us during this challenging time, thank you. Thank you for being our friends, thank you for your prayers, and thank you for your encouragement. We are so grateful to have such an awesome community surrounding us. <3


I included the picture above of my wonderful husband and me for two reasons. First, I am so happy that we get to do life together, including life's ups and downs. Second, it's a reminder that God is not only the one who brought us together, but He also brought us through this incredibly difficult time of waiting. We didn't even end up having to wait that long, which was a blessing as well. Waiting will always be annoying, but I remain steadfast knowing that my God is good. And that truth is what I'm most thankful for this holiday season.

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