Back when I had a flip phone (which seems like ages ago), I had two words that would greet me anytime I opened up my phone to my home screen. Those words were "hey beautiful." An old friend of mine, who was just a few years older than me, used to say that whenever she greeted me, and I liked that reminder, so I saved it in my phone as part of my wallpaper. It's such a simple phrase yet it had such an impact on me. Words of affirmation is one of my top love languages, and who better to remind me that I'm beautiful than myself? I've touched on the topic of beauty before in my post entitled "peaking," and this probably won't be the last time I touch on it either. I think it's pretty important.
It's funny...after I got married, I stopped caring so much about my looks. [Note: I wanted to get back into shape because I missed being athletic and having a body I was proud of, and I wanted to do something that would help me to be both physically and mentally healthy. It had nothing to do with someone else commenting on my weight or lack of muscle or anything like that.] Slowly, I stopped feeling the need to cover up pimples or pluck my eyebrows all the time or treat blackheads or make sure my toenails were always painted. Peter tells me I'm beautiful every day, and he means it. I stopped working so hard because I didn't need to. He takes me as I am, and for him, that's enough.
Well, last weekend, I was reminded that not everyone will see me the way Peter does. A woman who works at a salon I frequent asked me if I pluck my eyebrows myself. I answered yes, and she told me my eyebrows looked unnatural and said she could fix them for me. She also said she could tackle my lip hair next. I'll be honest - I've noticed that my eyebrows aren't as nice as they used to be. Did I need this woman to remind me of that fact though? I don't think so. And in the past, it used to bother me that I had lip hair, but that has been far from my mind for years at this point. If I'm going to wax my lip hair, I might as well wax my face because my face has little hairs all over it. That's just how we are as humans. Her comments stung. I think the reason they stung is because I hadn't been criticized for my appearance in a long time, and as I've mentioned before, that criticism used to come from guys, not girls. I felt embarrassed but also shocked. If Peter could see past my "flaws," why couldn't this woman? Yes, I realize part of this might have been a sales tactic, but you'd think there would be better ways of going about it...
Ladies, I think we can do better. If Peter, the one who is stuck with me for the long haul, can deal with my mismatched eyebrows, so can you. And I should be able to take the women around me as they are. Let's really strive to lift each other up, not tear each other down. Let's spend less time judging each other and more time embracing and affirming.
Go tell a girlfriend she's beautiful. Trust me, she'll appreciate it. <3
Comments