It's probably safe to say the holidays are looking a lot different for most people this year compared to previous years. This year has been so hard for so many different reasons, but being unable to gather with loved ones when I've grown so accustomed to gathering, particularly around the holidays, has been especially difficult for me. Back in October, I had planned to see my maternal grandparents for the first time in months for a small birthday celebration only to be told that my grandmother wanted me to stay at home for fear of my unborn baby's safety. I cried. And I'll admit, it's not the only time I've cried from being separated from family this year.
I've always been fond of Thanksgiving. Christmas is my favorite holiday, but Thanksgiving is a close second, and I've grown even more grateful for it in recent years. When I was in England, shortly after my arrival at the end of September, Christmas decorations began to go up everywhere. It was startling to me, partly because I'm obstinate about not beginning to prepare for Christmas until at least the day after Thanksgiving but partly because it dawned on me for the first time that not everyone celebrates Thanksgiving (or at the same time we do). I was at a complete loss. Peter, being the blessing that he is even before we got married, flew me back to New York so I could spend Thanksgiving with my family instead of spending it in England where it would've simply been another weekday. There is truly nothing like sitting around a dinner table with a lovely homecooked meal (or, if you're part of my family, around a table at a Chinese restaurant because it's one of my uncles' turns to host) while surrounded by people you love.
I knew this year would be different. I knew that it would be hard to celebrate the holiday on a much smaller scale than what I'm used to. But you know what? For once, I found myself being thankful not just for the big things, the things that usually come to mind particularly around this time of year, but for the little things as well. I was thankful that I successfully baked an apple pie completely from scratch. I was thankful for the joy that illuminated the face of a baby during the meal. I was thankful when Peter's parents' dog chose to sit by my feet. I was thankful that, to this day, I still haven't needed to learn how to roast a turkey (shoutout to Peter's third oldest brother who did it!). I was thankful that I had just gotten to the point where I'm eating for two and could eat my fill unabashedly. I was thankful for the maternity jeans I was wearing to satisfy the need for extra room around my belly. I was thankful not only for the presence of cranberry sauce but also for the fact that I've come to love it!
This year has been tough, but one word that continues to float around in my mind, despite how tough it's been, is the word hope. This is the year I became fully booked for the first time as an online tutor. This is the year Peter and I created another life together. This is the year I developed some really great, new friendships. This is the year I rekindled some old ones. This is the year Peter created an album of original piano pieces that he's going to make public soon. This is the year one of my best friends became a mom (just this morning, in fact!). This is the year Nymeria became more affectionate (she still doesn't like us picking her up, but she'll nuzzles her face against mine, and I see that as a win). The list goes on and on.
This year has been tough, I'm not denying it, but...in some ways, it has still been a good one. And I still have a lot to be thankful for.
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